This is what 50 feels like

I’m celebrating my 50th birthday this week. If you’d asked me in my twenties what I thought 50 would feel like, I probably would have said old and dull, out of touch, slowing down, and full of gray hair and wrinkles.

As I step into being 50, I realize I was missing the mark…big time.

Fifty feels free.

For much of my life, I’ve been constrained by the person I thought I was supposed to be. I followed the rules, tried to live up to expectations, and exhausted myself in the process. Today, I am living life on my terms. I’ve learned to set boundaries, to say no to what doesn’t energize me, and to care for myself in a healthy and loving way.

Fifty feels wise.

I didn’t believe I held valuable wisdom. I repeatedly disregarded my inner voice and instincts, choosing instead to listen to other people’s opinions over my own. That resulted in confusion, wrong turns, and dissatisfaction with my decisions and outcomes. As I’ve aged, I’ve come to understand that I have been gathering valuable wisdom from every experience, circumstance, and relationship I’ve encountered. This wisdom is my inner compass, and when I tap into it, I can trust that I am guiding myself on a path that is right for me.

Fifty feels solid.

Growing up, life felt chaotic, unpredictable, and insecure. I didn’t have a solid foundation. But over the years, I’ve learned to build my own foundation. I count on myself to create the stable, calm life I desire. And, I surround myself with incredible people who support me and reinforce the solid ground on which I now stand.

Fifty feels like a promise.

It used to feel like aging meant the end of things. The end of youth and beauty, new opportunities and adventure, too late to fulfill dreams and make your mark. But for me, 50 feels like a promise. Fifty is an open door of possibility that I now have the insight, wisdom, and strength, to embrace wholeheartedly. I can do anything I want to. I know that now…and I’m going for it!

Fifty feels like me.

I couldn’t have told you in my teens or twenties what it felt like to be me. But now at 50, after a lifetime of learning, growing and changing, I know. Fifty feels like worthiness, self-acceptance, and self-love. Fifty feels like wisdom, courage and authenticity. Fifty feels like I am enough. Fifty feels like me.

How do you feel at your age? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

You’re wonderful.

Mary Lou